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Talking Circle, Healing Circle
February 1, 2006; Anchorage, Alaska
This morning, I joined a co-ed group of nine sober people who used to be chronic homeless alcoholics and substance abusers.  I say "used to be" because home now is a supported living environment where they tackle their addictions through treatment. The talking circles are part of their healing program, if they wish, and occur three times weekly with voluntary participation.  While the counselor who facilitated this group is Lakota Sioux, nearly all the participants are Alaska Native originally from more remote parts of the state before their lives took a turn toward homelessness & addictions.

The "talking circle" is commonly used in various forms by tribes across North America. This one was organized with Lakota Sioux rituals, particularly with the burning of sage grass and an introductory prayer spoken in Lakota. An eagle feather was passed around to signify the speaker's turn.  Everyone spoke in turn, including myself, though doing so was voluntary. There were no time limits to speaking, nor an organized topic agenda as one would expect to find in a group psychotherapy session. Instead, people spontaneously discussed the following topics, yet meaning was so fluidly connected:

•finding their own life path and path to sobriety
•efficacy of court-ordered versus self-chosen treatment
•the homeless lifestyle in Alaska with weather extremes
•repeated attempts to sobriety, with numerous prior failed attempts
•what makes this attempt different, "we¹re not getting any younger"
•letting down the people you love, especially kids who are placed in foster care
•learning how to say "no" to alcohol and drugs
•the challenges of staying sober when your family & friends (support system) are also alcoholics, drug users, homeless
•having the conviction to get sobriety "right" this time

I found the "talking circle" to be a very powerful tool in self-expression, disclosure, and honest self-evaluation. The words of these previously homeless alcoholics were incredibly insightful, honest, forthcoming, and particularly hard on themselves. Yet, they were also hopeful in that they were attempting to rebuild their lives one sober day at a time.

Walking Sobriety's Path
February 3, 2006
The same group reconvened for another talking circle. Again, people had heartening insights about themselves, their recovery, and their journeys toward rebuilding the broken lives of their past and sometimes present. A couple of common themes emerged in this particular circle.

•the importance of not turning one¹s back on a loved one who struggles with alcohol and substance abuse; in other words, keep the door open even if you aren¹t standing there to greet him or her  right now.
•the importance of owning one's choices that led to a path of addictions and homelessness
•the importance of compassion and being nonjudgmental in treatment programs, as well as having reasonable rules, expectations, mutual respect, and community involvement in the treatment facility setting.
•the importance of restoring self-dignity by "showering everyday, paying $10 for a haircut, changing into clean clothes everyday, and cooking fresh meals on the stovetop," as was stated in the circle.
•putting oneself "first" for a change (in a responsible way), and not giving into the negative influences and patterns of behavior that challenge one¹s sobriety; it is difficult to care for others (family, kids, friends) if you don¹t take care of yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually; and to find one¹s grounding in order to stand against any temptations that may (and will) come.

These folks certainly said things better than I ever could. Perhaps they are well-practiced in "talking the talk," but they were certainly convincing to me. And in practice, they are "walking the walk," some sober for months, others newly sober for weeks.

A Sober Day is a Good Day
February 8, 2006
Today¹s talking circle began with the same ritualized routine as in the previous days—song, sage, smoke.  Each person took a turn at fanning the smoke of sweet sage upon themselves with an eagle feather as a ritualistic form of cleansing the spirit. The facilitator then opened the circle about recognizing the Creator¹s simple gifts, and being grateful for each one. His example was the beautiful blue-sky morning that greeted us in our northern part of the world that day when many others had been cold or cloudy. It seemed almost spring-like, and represented metaphorical hope to the group that indeed better days were ahead.

As before, everyone spoke with eloquence and thoughtfulness far beyond what one might expect for the population. Their words reminded me that these are real people, people who hurt, people with hopes, dreams, and fears just like the rest of us. Their stories helped me to believe that they genuinely wanted recovery from their addictions, to restore dignity to their lives, to help others one day, and to make the successful transition once and for all to a life of health, wellness, and sustained sobriety.

Topics included:
•finding balance in one¹s life
•learning all over again to be human, and kind to self and each another
•learning how to communicate effectively and respectively, while NOT taking personally hurtful things said by others
•learning not to escalate disagreements into larger issues, and learning strategies to successfully manage one¹s own emotions in such situations
•the importance of having a rock-solid support system either through sober friends and family, AA sponsors, counselors, and each other in the program
•the importance of recognizing that each day is a new day, and one to greet with positive thoughts
•believing in each other, and in oneself, even against all odds

As a member of the circle, I was welcome to participate by sharing whatever thoughts I considered appropriate. After each session, I personally felt uplifted by the words of others, and hoped that my words offered something positive to them as well. Once the talking circle ended, there were spontaneous hugs, handshakes, and wishes to have a good day, a sober day.